still hating? Part three and the last
This is a heart blog . . .
Much of the missionary kid boarding school philosophy is built upon two erroneous presuppositions; one that kids at home hinder ministry, two that the task is more important than the kids themselves (although the later one is framed in much milder language generally, e.g. that the task of world evangelism is so important than everyone must make sacrifices, etc, etc).
Now granted, my parent organization finally came into the 20th century and offers their missionaries multiple mk educational options . . . now, but that is a recent innovation. But back in the not so recent past, we were required to send our kids to boarding school . . . under the pretense of it being the best decision for the kids. The reality was that the view at the top of our leadership pinnacle was that kids got in the way of missionaries working hard . . . and honestly, they do.
That's right, they do. You can't work 72-80 hour weeks when you have kids at home. But seriously, this blog is not about the culpability of my parent organization in requiring us to send our little six year old first graders to boarding school two time zones away. This blog is a recrimination of the parents that allowed this behavior to be foisted on their families and especially on their children. I am upset wih me, not the CMA.
I am upset with my acceptance of a missiology, ecclesiology, theology and eschatology than believes that the sacrifice inflicted upon families for the sake of evangelizing and church planting is more important than the families themselves.
I am upset with my weakness of character that allowed my obviously notreadyforboardingschool child be shipped out to boarding school at the age of six years old. He was back home by the half way point of the year . . . and we were home on early home assignment by that summer, because something was clearly defective in Brenda and I as parents since we had a child who was not boarding school friendly. The mission was right, we were defective . . . not because my child did not suceed at boarding school, but because I allowed him to go when he was so clearly not ready. Bad parenting Dave!
I am upset that I exchanged their childhoods for the cause. Now I will say the cause has value . . . but it is not worthy (often) of the price it extracts. Their childhoods are gone forever. The Cause will always be here, its like the poor in the New Testament - always with us.
Most of all I regret that they had to move so often, go to so many different schools, have so few stable relationships in their lives. What a loss. Yes they did make some gains . . . but the verdict remains out on the value of those potential gains, while the losses pile up.
My painfully learned wisdom to those who would like to learn from my mistakes, is do what is right for your child, not what is right for your organization or the cause.
Much of the missionary kid boarding school philosophy is built upon two erroneous presuppositions; one that kids at home hinder ministry, two that the task is more important than the kids themselves (although the later one is framed in much milder language generally, e.g. that the task of world evangelism is so important than everyone must make sacrifices, etc, etc).
Now granted, my parent organization finally came into the 20th century and offers their missionaries multiple mk educational options . . . now, but that is a recent innovation. But back in the not so recent past, we were required to send our kids to boarding school . . . under the pretense of it being the best decision for the kids. The reality was that the view at the top of our leadership pinnacle was that kids got in the way of missionaries working hard . . . and honestly, they do.
That's right, they do. You can't work 72-80 hour weeks when you have kids at home. But seriously, this blog is not about the culpability of my parent organization in requiring us to send our little six year old first graders to boarding school two time zones away. This blog is a recrimination of the parents that allowed this behavior to be foisted on their families and especially on their children. I am upset wih me, not the CMA.
I am upset with my acceptance of a missiology, ecclesiology, theology and eschatology than believes that the sacrifice inflicted upon families for the sake of evangelizing and church planting is more important than the families themselves.
I am upset with my weakness of character that allowed my obviously notreadyforboardingschool child be shipped out to boarding school at the age of six years old. He was back home by the half way point of the year . . . and we were home on early home assignment by that summer, because something was clearly defective in Brenda and I as parents since we had a child who was not boarding school friendly. The mission was right, we were defective . . . not because my child did not suceed at boarding school, but because I allowed him to go when he was so clearly not ready. Bad parenting Dave!
I am upset that I exchanged their childhoods for the cause. Now I will say the cause has value . . . but it is not worthy (often) of the price it extracts. Their childhoods are gone forever. The Cause will always be here, its like the poor in the New Testament - always with us.
Most of all I regret that they had to move so often, go to so many different schools, have so few stable relationships in their lives. What a loss. Yes they did make some gains . . . but the verdict remains out on the value of those potential gains, while the losses pile up.
My painfully learned wisdom to those who would like to learn from my mistakes, is do what is right for your child, not what is right for your organization or the cause.