Chapter 148

“The problem is no longer getting people to express themselves, but providing little gaps of solitude and silence in which they might eventually find something to say….

— Gilles Deleuze

The more a person thinks, the less they feel compelled to talk it seems to me. People overshare all the time. Constantly. Non-stop it seems. TMI at all levels. Too much information! In fact people are talking so constantly, that as the quote above implies, there are no gaps in the the noise for them to have a chance to express themselves.

Not that this is a problem for my dad and his sister. She talks even more than he does! And they both talk so much and are so totally and completely into what they are saying, it seems that it is impossible for them to hear the other person speak at all. The results are 79 unfinished and incomplete stories statements and points, because they never let one another finish what they were saying, before they override the other one with another unrelated stories, statement or point. So funny. So confusing. So sad. This is not communication, its a competition for who can orally fart the loudest and longest.

This is not how adult intelligent people communicate. First of all, we listen. Listen some more. Listen so hard that it hurts. Then we might speak. If we have something important to contribute, that will enhance what has already been contributed. Otherwise, we have the control to not speak. Read it again - we have the control to not speak.

Try it sometime, it is more difficult than you might think, and it is very empowering when you can do it.