Chapter 146

“I want to be brave enough to be myself—whoever that is.” - Cardello  

This is more daunting than one would think. It requires a special kind of courage that is not found lying around in the locker room shelves. And there are at least two parts to be brave about with this idea; knowing or discovering who you are, and then finding the courage to embrace it. 

Who you and I are though, is not merely a vocational idea. I have to resist that even as I sit here and write about it. Maybe it is intensified by gender? I don’t know, but at least for men, this is a critical point - that we (me strongly!) struggle to think of ourselves in non-vocational ways. So who I am, is a question of whether I am a mechanic or a college professor, but it is also much more than that. The challenge is getting to the “much more” part.

Our vocations define us so deeply, I know that I spend over a decade trying to untangle myself from my previous profession. That still reoccurs regularly in my life, because OTHERS still define me by my previous vocation. They are the ones struggling with this version of me, even after more than 10 years. But regardless if they struggle with this best version of me or not, I will stay this course.

This much more part of me, the non-vocational part, is both comprised of both positives and negatives. But this too is part of myself, whatever it is. Much better to face it and deal with it, rather than hide it out of sight. In fact, isn’t that the point? Be who you are? And if you don’t like what you discover, chose differently.