# Chapter 242

The real work of leadership happens between our ears. There is where the crux of the battle takes place. I know know everyone else is keeping tally of your KPI’s but those can be very misleading, especially in the short run. The big battles and the great struggles happen within the leader. All the other leadership factors depend on how well the leader manages the self-leading. Repeat, all other leadership factors will depend ultimately on how well the leader self-leads. Because what happens in the mind and heart of the leader will bleed out into the organization at the very least, and will become the basis of the values and structure of what they are leading.

All of the challenges, all of the ambiguity, all of the volatility, all of the uncertainty of what is faced, will be wrestled out in the mind of the leader. And the way that conversation and wrestling match goes is critical. It is very very easy to let that overwhelm of negative sweep through your mind and your negative self-talk will be your warning system that you are losing. In fact your self-talk is an accurate barometer of the flow of the battles and struggles that you are engaged with and how those battles and struggles are proceeding. Listen to your self-talk, assess it and understand what a gift, what a mirror into your soul, this self-talk is for you.

And now here is the part that few ever understand - you can use and choose self-talk to be a tool and a weapon of positivity inside your head. You can turn battles around completely by reseting your internal dialogue. First you have to stop the negative. Then you have to assess the facts, not the feelings nor the threat, but the facts. Then you choose a different action than the one you were using before and you choose a different sound track than you were listening to before! Change that talk! Change those results!