# Chapter 156

There are some days that are far worse than others, and fresh grief always makes for one of those difficult days. I read this morning online that a friend of mine lost his dad to cancer yesterday. I sit here eating breakfast and I can’t get away from thinking about what he must be going through. Losing someone close to your heart is so difficult. Your whole world tilts and the fabric of life is torn in irrevocable ways. There are no rewind or reverse options. Things have changed forever.

And it doesn’t seem to matter how many times you have already gone through this, it is just as painful each time. According to my dad, unexpected and shocking death is more difficult than a long goodbye from cancer or some other sickness, but I don’t have that experience. All the losses are losses. Negatives. Irreversible. Painful. Life-altering. World-shattering. All you have are memories and pictures from this point forward.

So all you can do, all anyone has ever been able to do is live these present moments well. Fully present and engaged. All here. All in.