# Chapter 52

The reward dilemma.

The reward dilemma. For the last 50 years I have rewarded every perceived success in my world with food. And in adulthood, I also frequently rewarded myself with a relaxing beer, or six. The dilemma is obvious. When food and beer become the problem.

When food and beer become the problem, rewarding yourself with either or both, become doubly complicated. Clearly, I need to find a new reward system. That is easier said than done. Far easier said than done. Because this dynamic duo of food and beer, have been a damaging duet for decades and decades.

Trying to break their holds on me, and my internal support system, has literally taken the better part of the last eight years. And that is for the food part only! The beer part, I have been addressing for the last three years, at varying levels of success, and only recently have taken a four month abstinence from all forms of alcohol (and still counting).

So right at the moment, I am at the mental imagery point of a new reward system. Mental imagery of what kind of person I want to be, how I want to look, what I think about myself, etc. etc. No actual physical tangible "reward." And it is mostly working I think, at least I have more successful days than I do fail days.

As James Clear says though, this mostly comes down to simply environmental planning. “Environment wins over will power practically every time.” So control the food that is regularly in your environment and you control what you eat. Of course, the fact that I have to eat out 100 days a year (business meetings) complicates that a great deal, but I am getting better and better at it.