men who are children
It must be a phenomenon of the modern world. My 36 year old neighbor is ripped at me. I still don’t know why, because he refuses to tell me. He deigned to inform me a couple of days ago that “I am very angry with you!” Since then he only turns his back to me, refuses to look at me, won’t answer me when I greet him. My lack of serious begging is probably not helping him recover from his anger . . . in fact is most likely contributing to his anger. Now this fellow is educated, wealthy, an engineer who owns his own business . . . is obnoxious, arrogant, full of himself, an expert in every subject, omniscient, more capable than all others, trusts no one and is childish beyond belief (a typical man for the most part).
His current anger seems to stem from a tiny incident that happened last week, when the National Church president of the Macedonian Evangelical churches came over with his wife for supper. As usual there was a shortage of parking, so I told him to park his Toyota between our house and the house of my man/child neighbor. And in typical macedonian style, the prez pulls the Yoda right up on the sidewalk . . . and man/child went ballistic. Now before you get all in a snit about the prez parking on the sidewalk, you need to know that the WHOLE COUNTRY parks on the sidewalk! People walk in the streets here, because cars are parked on the sidewalks. This is the normal course of life here. There is no place in this entire country where you can freely walk on the sidewalks, because they are packed full with cars. This is normal for Macedonia. So man/child’s ballistic reaction is not rooted in any form of reality. In fact, he is the same person who called the chinese guys down the street those “stinking yellow chinese” last week (see previous post), all because they too park on the sidewalk . . . as does the entire country.
This is the sum total of my interaction with the man/child for the last two weeks, except when he told me he was very angry with me a couple of days ago. Now every time I try to muster a serious response to his anger I crack up, because it is so much like dealing with one of my children when they were like 3-4 years old and got angry with me and said, “Daddy, I am not talking to you any more.” This situation has less substance than that. And so it is difficult to be serious about his squabble with me.
I have been dealing with this man/child for the last two years, and this is the first time I have been able to enjoy my balcony without being instructed about how I paid too much for firewood, or how untrustworthy the neighbors are, or how bread is 1 cent cheaper if I would drive all the way across town, or how everyone is corrupt, or how I need to buy this certain brand of coffee, or how I need to tell my landlord this or that -- all yelled out in English (sort of) across the hedges that separate the two properties, while everyone in the neighborhood listens carefully. You can understand Mecken’s comment after two years of this - “Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.”
So I have to admit the silence is golden . . . so much so I almost don’t want him to get over his snit with me, because then I (and everyone who visits us) will have to listen to his patronizing overbearing pompous diatribes again. I won’t be able to grill in peace! But then again, someone has to be adult in this situation and find out why man/child is upset, and then do whatever is necessary to make it right again (in his eyes). Right?
I don’t know. That certainly is the “American Christian” thing to do, but here . . . I wonder if that will diminish me in the eyes of the rest of the neighborhood (with whom we have excellent friendships and relationships), because they can’t stand this guy much either. As much as possible, be at peace with your fellow man Paul tells us. The way that is phrased in English never gives us a clue when enough is enough, even when you did nothing wrong in the first place. I think I will do some research before I grovel or some christian thingy like that.
His current anger seems to stem from a tiny incident that happened last week, when the National Church president of the Macedonian Evangelical churches came over with his wife for supper. As usual there was a shortage of parking, so I told him to park his Toyota between our house and the house of my man/child neighbor. And in typical macedonian style, the prez pulls the Yoda right up on the sidewalk . . . and man/child went ballistic. Now before you get all in a snit about the prez parking on the sidewalk, you need to know that the WHOLE COUNTRY parks on the sidewalk! People walk in the streets here, because cars are parked on the sidewalks. This is the normal course of life here. There is no place in this entire country where you can freely walk on the sidewalks, because they are packed full with cars. This is normal for Macedonia. So man/child’s ballistic reaction is not rooted in any form of reality. In fact, he is the same person who called the chinese guys down the street those “stinking yellow chinese” last week (see previous post), all because they too park on the sidewalk . . . as does the entire country.
This is the sum total of my interaction with the man/child for the last two weeks, except when he told me he was very angry with me a couple of days ago. Now every time I try to muster a serious response to his anger I crack up, because it is so much like dealing with one of my children when they were like 3-4 years old and got angry with me and said, “Daddy, I am not talking to you any more.” This situation has less substance than that. And so it is difficult to be serious about his squabble with me.
I have been dealing with this man/child for the last two years, and this is the first time I have been able to enjoy my balcony without being instructed about how I paid too much for firewood, or how untrustworthy the neighbors are, or how bread is 1 cent cheaper if I would drive all the way across town, or how everyone is corrupt, or how I need to buy this certain brand of coffee, or how I need to tell my landlord this or that -- all yelled out in English (sort of) across the hedges that separate the two properties, while everyone in the neighborhood listens carefully. You can understand Mecken’s comment after two years of this - “Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.”
So I have to admit the silence is golden . . . so much so I almost don’t want him to get over his snit with me, because then I (and everyone who visits us) will have to listen to his patronizing overbearing pompous diatribes again. I won’t be able to grill in peace! But then again, someone has to be adult in this situation and find out why man/child is upset, and then do whatever is necessary to make it right again (in his eyes). Right?
I don’t know. That certainly is the “American Christian” thing to do, but here . . . I wonder if that will diminish me in the eyes of the rest of the neighborhood (with whom we have excellent friendships and relationships), because they can’t stand this guy much either. As much as possible, be at peace with your fellow man Paul tells us. The way that is phrased in English never gives us a clue when enough is enough, even when you did nothing wrong in the first place. I think I will do some research before I grovel or some christian thingy like that.