The first noel?

She hates this song. There is no other way to describe how Heidi feels about playing this song in the worship set on Sunday. It is challenging in a number of ways, but I really want to include Heidi while she is here with us for Christmas break from college. I too get weary of playing each Sunday and the the weekly practice that goes into leading a worship team. Frankly, I am in way way over my head here . . . but what are you to do, when you are the only who plays?

Sometimes my spiritual life feels this way . . . that I am in way over my head and that I have no business what so ever being involved in the ministries that I am leading. As I heard it said once last year by some pastor, "My gifting and skills have carried me much further than my character can sustain me." This is generally a true statement. I can understand that Heidi does not want to play a song that is beyond her skill levels. Unfortunately, I feel that I live beyond my skill level almost every day.

I wonder what God's plans are somedays, when He has us out there on the edge and working way beyond our abilities. I know that many of you may want to spiritualize this and suggest that this is where God wants us to be, in order for His power and glory to shine. But don't you think that incompetence is not something that we should spiritualize? Don't you wish that your pastor would get up and tell the truth . . . that he does not have a real sermon prepared because he has been most unholy and sorely tried this week, and that to preach a message would be hypocritical? Or perhaps not. I know most of the people I work with, prefer not to hear the truth. They rather believe that I am 10 feet tall and bulletproof in a spiritual sense. What a sad day this is . . . when spiritual leaders have no place to turn to and no one to be honest with . . . on the other hand, Sunday's coming and you had better have something ready to go . . . or else.