A life of goodbyes

Chapter 86

The inevitable goodbyes. After every great visit, there are the inevitable goodbyes. I have lived a life of goodbyes. They never get easier. You might think that with so much regular practice, that they would get easier, but it simply does not happen that way. I just hugged my 30 year old son goodbye, as he heads back to Indy and his life there and we already miss him terribly. There is no way, at least that I have discovered, to mitigate the pain, the emotional pain of goodbyes.

And we shouldn’t ever find a way to do so. It’s what makes us human and vulnerable and joyful when we get to be together again in the future. But the measure of our pain, tells us how connected we are to these people and that is a good thing. It shows that we are connected and that we love, and that we hurt when we are separated for whatever good reasons -that we have lots of skin in these relationships and that they matter. It proves in the best possible ways that we are invested in others.

As a mostly introverted person, I enjoy my alone times immensely. They are a necessary part of my thriving. But it is the key relationships in my life that make the alone times bearable in a sense, because they have no meaning, if I don’t value someone outside of myself. And its that valuing, that makes the goodbyes so hard. As my friend Renee said this morning as she had to leave her daughter and say goodbye once more, “my heart is full” and that is true of me too today. But part of that fullness is the pain. It hurts because these people are important.