Our wake

# Chapter 98

Another classmate has died. Of course I can barely remember them, and most of those memories are elementary school memories, or maybe junior high memories, but it is hazy at best. I literally have not seen any of these people since high school graduation 41 plus years ago! But what is interesting and to be honest, a little bit disturbing, is the emotional punch that all these deaths have held. Again I haven’t seen these people who have passed away this year in decades, but they intersected my life in the past and left more than I thought they did. And now it is making me wonder what I left in them? And what about the people whose lives I am now intersecting with? What kind of impact am I leaving in my wake?

Honestly it makes you want to go back and retract and recover every harsh word you ever spoke, every time you laughed at someone, made fun of someone, hurt someone, cut someone, or had any humor at someone else’s expense. Sure that was what school days were like back then, but it doesn’t make it any better, and it shows what shallow awful people we were. Thank God your past doesn’t determine your future, yet your present doesn’t negate your past choices and decisions either. You did what you did. I wasn’t mean to these people that passed away this year, but I wasn’t wonderful to them either and I wish the past me had been just that. Now Mary Grace is suddenly gone forever and I can’t be that wonderful generous person to her that I wish I had been. But I am determined to do better going forward with everyone I connect with at any level.