Silver linings

# Chapter 297

“No sweet, no cold, no sour” the doctor told me, as I was getting ready to leave her office after five shots of Novocain, five teeth ground down and prepared for new crowns, almost five hours total in the chair, and two new fillings just for kicks. Since I only have stubs remaining while awaiting the crowns being made, how does she expect me to eat anything when 3/4 of my chewing ability has been hamstrung?? I am sitting here writing this after taking three times as long to get anything down for breakfast, as it would have normally taken, and what I swallowed was chewed about half as well as it should have been. But I was really hungry having not eaten anything in the last 24 hours. And sleep? Well suffice it to say, it was a long long night as my tongue ran over my new architecture and frightfully swollen gums repeatedly for hours on end. And as I read over this description I realize that I haven’t even begun to adequately communicate how big a deal this is, at least for the next 5-6 days. It hurts, its costly, and its hampering social interaction in a significant manner.

Its far worse than I have described here, yet it has its own blessings. I was not throwing up and having diarrhea as was one of my close loved one’s yesterday. It saved us about $10,000 since I had all this done outside the USA. I still have all my teeth except one, at the grand age of 60. And best of all, I have the possibilities of having this done to me, even though that sounds so wrong, in the past they would have simply pulled those teeth, and I would be eating with my front teeth for the rest of my life, like I am doing this morning - and this is deeply frustrating believe you me! You need to stop right now and look for all the silver linings you can discover in the clouds over you.

Sprints

# Chapter 296

When you are hoping to get to that special place of quiet and peacefulness, and instead discover that you are entirely too popular and desirable, and get overwhelmed with all the negotiations for your time, be patient, this too will pass. Just bite the bullet for 4-5 days and then things will settle down, and you might still find that special quiet and peacefulness you were hoping for and expecting to find here. Nobody can be more surprised about this more than me. I have been digging into the introvert hermit thing so long, that I am really caught off guard when I am forced to put my extrovert mask on and go to work. I can do this, you can do this, it may not be what we were wanting or expecting necessarily, but we can go with the flow - and the flow of the moment is to grab a slice of your time and eat on your dime, and socialize it up. All these are important human relationship interaction steps and there is no need to resist them. Yes there are other things you could be doing, perhaps even want to do, but they will wait, while you catch up with real live actual people.

Its ok to smile about that, because if you know me then you know that I generally avoid real live people. Real live people are stressful and difficult and stretching and entirely overwhelming and that is ok too. You can do anything for short sprints. And that is what this is, a sprint. Lots of little sprints, and then you have a marathon. And link together some marathons and you have a life. This one is yours. Live it well.

Jet lag versus mind lag

# Chapter 295

Jetlag is terrible, confusing the International Traveler more than the new sights, sounds, expectations and smells. I still have it even after 30 years of regular overseas travel. Jetlag is when your mind and body are out of sync with the new reality that you have force them into, too suddenly. The adjustment can be mild to painful. It had me awake when I wanted to be asleep last night, and likely will powerfully want me to sleep sometime today, when I need to be awake. You are in the wrong reality and your body and mind are struggling to align everything once again.

Cultural mindlag happens when you don’t travel anywhere, and this is even worse than jet lag. It happens when your world view and the world view of those around you are myopic and self focused. Anyone not living near you or in your country are unimportant and irrelevant it seems. You make decisions in a vacuum. You see only your point of view. We can’t empathize with others. The longer you stay in this mindlag the worse it becomes, eventually breaking down even your own culture into smaller and smaller groups of “us” and “them” and all and everything is reduced to a competition of win or lose.

Interestingly, one of the best antidote’s for cultural mindlag is jetlag. Getting out of your tiny world and experiencing the larger world. At the very least you will have renewed gratefulness for what you have, and how easy it is to get. At the very best you will have a new understanding that we all share this common world and that we are linked together in more ways than we are separated.

The eight most important markers

# Chapter 294

Be grateful, be intentional, be present, be kind, be loving, be generous, be of service, be fearless – every day, every day, every day. - Masterminds

This final one in this long stretch. Each one of these could be a chapter all on their own, but we will not do that, today we are wrapping up the Masterminds list. They sum up the life we all want to live on this last point. And these are the people we want to surround ourselves with, people who live life this way, every day. Gratefulness is always in short supply and that is not just true of your co-worker, its true of you and me. Intentionality is much more the rare bird, I have exactly one friend in America who is intentional. One. Everyone else in my life always waits until I take the initiative. And does that make me intentional, not at all. It seems to me that I am just responding to their lack of responding. Being present is ever the challenge for me, and perhaps you, I don’t know. I am way too oriented toward the future and not the present. I am getting better, but still have a long way to go.

Being kind, loving and generous seem to be similar markers, more active and coming from your core if they are gonna show at all. I know very few people in the world who have all three, many have one, which should challenge us to develop these characteristics and live them out daily. The world would be such a more pleasant place were we to do so. I also think that would make the final two admonitions so much easier and likely. We can serve and we can be fearless, when we are filled with kindness, love and generosity.

Actions win in the end

# Chapter 293

Words mean nothing – actions are everything. - Masterminds

In the end this is true. In the middle of living it out, words matter too, because they show your intent and express your feelings, and intent and feelings are important to human relationships. Personally I think words matter in business as well, because business is a set of relationships in my opinion. But alas in every situation and in every circumstance in life you will ultimately be judged by what you did, not what you said. Intent and feelings provide rich context and commentary in life when aligned with actions, but in the end, your actions are the stuff that everyone is counting. Even your clarity of vision and your certainty of intent are just words that are leading you toward a particular set of actions that everyone is depending upon and judging you by.

We may not like it when done to us, but we do it too. When there is congruency of words and actions all the better, but when push comes to shove, actions speak loudest every time. This is spiritual as well. Our words don’t hold near the weight as do our actions.

Scarcity of clarity

# Chapter 292

Clarity of vision + certainty of intent. - Masterminds

These two are the eyes and arms of every project ever accomplished. This is the seeing and the actions. Clarity is something I am always preaching to my clients about and searching for myself. A little bit of clarity can carry a person or a project or an event a very long ways down the road. And that is a really good thing because clarity is always in short supply. The scarcity of clarity is the number one leadership problem in the world I often think. How difficult it is, can be easily shown by that timeless question I ask every client and often, “What do you want?” Everyone can tell me what they don’t want, but few can articulate what they want, simply put, because few of us have any clarity. I am not trying to be mean here, just point out the obvious. The vast majority of us are responders, and we are being herded by the shepherds of marketing who captures all of our attention all of the time and very intentionally never allow us a moment of clarity. Heck they never allow a moment for thinking, much less clarity. And clarity usually follows a great deal of thinking. We could go on and on about this subject because there is much to be said and even more to do on the subject of clarity.

Certainty of intent - when you precisely know what you are about and what you are to accomplish. Yes that statement also has “clarity” dripping all over it. Think of it this way, your level of certainty will never be higher than your level of clarity. Time to get thinking . . .

Instincts

# Chapter 291

Base your decisions on 80% data and 20% instinct to make the right call. - Masterminds

Entrepreneurs have a high sense of confidence in their instinct in my opinion. And perhaps that is what makes them entrepreneurs? Instinct seems so vague to a mere mortal like myself, but it obviously has some substance for others, so knock yourself out. I on the other hand, would seek wisdom from other sources, friends, networks, books, since I don’t think I have any instincts that would come in handy in business. At all. That fact is likely what leads me to suspect any direction labeled as instinct. My book-wormish mind thinks of instinct as some primordial reflex that is related to fight or flight patterns, or something similar to that.

But to those who have it, it is more like a predictive resonance that serves you well. And the “serves you well” part is really important - meaning that it is correct far more often than incorrect. If you can’t depend on it, then it is not serving you at all much less well. From the opening statement above I imagine that you wish for an alignment of your data and your instinct. When they both line up with the stars, then you can make a decision with a high degree of certainty. I like the simple fact that someone is actually looking at the data and that this is recommended to carry 80% of the weight. It seems to me far more often that the numbers are reversed and that the business people I work with are relying on their instincts far more than the data. Let those facts say what they say . . . .

Have a reservoir

# Chapter 290

Without financial management, there is no success for the business. - Masterminds

Nor success for anything else you are trying. There will be no success for your family or household or retirement or college or investments, etc etc, without financial management. This one has many moving parts and some are more challenging than others. The big one for everyone to grasp is cash flow. You can’t pay for things faster than the cash is flowing. And for some people the cash flows even and steady and for others like me, cash doesn’t flow steady or even. Heck I only get paid once a year in the years I actually take a salary, so cash flow is a big deal. When my wife has some humongous project going on and its gonna take tons of resources, then we have to plan very carefully how often the bill comes. I know you want to put all those lovely things on your credit card this month, but do you have the money in the bank or the cash flow to pay the bill in its entirety at the end of the billing cycle?

And then there are reserves or better yet reservoirs. All the people around me want to spend the principle right away and leave nothing for tomorrow, it seems. If you are like me and you want to help and work and be a blessing for decades or centuries to come, then you need a large reservoir for that Spring! If you spend the principle or the source of all your resources, then you leave nothing to flow down to anyone else.

We have not even scratched the surface of financial management, and we are already out of space, and this is one of the reasons people ignore financial management and the learning that goes with it. Don’t be one of those people.

Clear skies

# Chapter 289

Clear and up-to-date financials are required – if you don’t understand your business financially, there is no way to grow it. - Masterminds

It seems like a no-brainer, but almost every business I work with has some challenges in this area. One business is terrified of putting anything online, so they use an obscure piece of software that is completely firewalled. Whether you are firewalled or not (security is a subject for a different day), this obscure piece of software costs them far far more than the purchase price. The human price alone for using bad software is high. Text support is in the wrong time zone, constant computer upgrades required, and on and on. Still have no clear picture of financials, because of the tools they are using. One of the management companies that I use also has really oblique software, it doesn’t tell me the information that I need to know. If I had another choice, I would not use this management company, but they are a monopoly in a small market. In the 38 months I have been contracted with them, no less than 30 times I have asked the same questions. You would think that they would clearly see that I am not receiving the clear and up-to-date financials that are required for me to run my business.

On the other hand, just because you have clear and up-to-date financials in front of you doesn’t mean that you automatically know how to run your business. While clear financials could eliminate many potential problems, ignorance can create far more. Always be learning and streamlining your business.

Transparency

Chapter 288

If you want people to get engaged in increasing profits, show them all the financials. - Masterminds

I have seen this work and I have seen this not work. My son works for a logistics company where he has moved from driving a tractor trailer for them, to working in the front office, to being one of their leaders in navigating and finding profitable loads for them. He understands when he finds a lucrative load and makes money for the company he is making money for himself to be paid. He is highly motivated and very good at what he does. My friend owns a business with high overheads and in an attempt to show his workers how their actions cost the company money or make the company money, he shared the financials with them - no change! They just didn’t care, or either they just didn’t understand, or maybe both!

Honestly I don’t understand what makes this work in one situation and not in another situation. And this is impossible for certain types of personalities to do, like one neighbor is so secretive that he won’t say or show a single word about their finances. He is always appalled at my openness and transparency about our financials. He treats financials like State Secrets. I treat them as the semi-public records they are. But everyone is different and some will find the idea of sharing all their company’s financials with employees on a wide scale of impossible to distasteful to difficult to easy. Generally I am for this approach, secrets and obfuscation always work against you in my opinion. If you hired the right people, the more they know about your business to more they can help.

What you need to see clearly

# Chapter 287

You should know what the cash in your business is every day. - Masterminds

This is something to can easily get confused about, thinking that you are a plumbing business, when in fact the majority of your revenue comes from draining cleaning. This is something that can surprise you, your most idiotic field tech is actually your biggest revenue producer annually. This is something that you believe will bring in the people, but when you look at the hard math one year later, you realize that it cost you far far more than it brought you. These are all real stories from actual clients, or personal experiences. Knowing where your cash is coming from, or what it is being effectively spent on are not flashing neon light clear in your business, whether you are a plumbing company or a church. Unless you are a math whiz or actually handle accounts receivable in your org, you may well need outside eyes to help you see this clearly. But then outside eyes are rarely trusted in my experience, even when the outside eyes are not trying to tell you how to run your business, just showing you where the cash is coming in or going out.

You also need to clearly understand what you are investing in, to keep track of your cash in your business. That should have clued my plumber client into the fact that drain cleaning was his cash cow, and brought understanding to the fact that he needed multiple high definition cameras, very very expensive HD cameras, in order to be the premier drain cleaning business in this county. It was money well spent. One camera was paid for by the first job it was used on!

This deserves some sit and think time

# Chapter 286

Great entrepreneurs have: clarity of vision, the certainty of intent (a defined direction), a plan of action, and the power of values. - Masterminds

We continue from yesterday. These are great points, clarity of vision is seeing what you want, certainty of intent is your direction you want to go, action steps, and all riding on your values. That first one is still the one that trips most of us up, the clarity part. It seems that we can easily find a vague vision or idea of what we want, usually in the form of what we don’t want. In other words we are far more clear about the fact that we don’t want our present situation than we are about what we actually do want. And knowing what we don’t want is an important element of discovering what you do want, but it will not be enough to sustain us toward achieving something great. A negative won’t turn into a positive, but it often has enough power to knock you out of the nest, and get you started flying.

Clarity about what you want and what you are reaching for, is a way of supercharging the whole process. The more clarity, the more supercharging. You just can’t have too much clarity. And the best gift that it will bring you is certainty. Confidence in the direction that you should be heading and that you should go. Action plans spring up effortlessly if you have these twin towers of clarity and certainty in place. And the foundation of it all are your values, which deserves its own chapter, but I am just responding to the Mastermind summaries. There is a lot here today and this could easily be 4-8 chapters all by itself. You need to sit and think about these a while.

Be ready for this

# Chapter 285

Take time to be clear. What do you want? Where do you want to go? - Masterminds

Most are much more certain of where they want to go, than they are of what they want. I have seen this played out over and over again with the leaders I work with around the world. In fact the most difficult question in the world for leaders to answer is “what do I want?” Don’t knock it until you try it, for it is actually quite a difficult question to answer clearly, and that is the aim here, to be clear. I assume they mean be clear with your direct reports and employees, but you need to be clear with your stakeholders and board and well, everyone. But you have to be clear in your own head before you can be clear with everyone else and that only if you are a good communicator.

So once you have answered the most difficult question in the world, “what do you want?” And your desired direction is certain, then it is time. Time to present it to others, time to prepare what you are going to say and how. Time to be ready for questions as they surely will not understand all that you have to say, nor will it resonate with them in the same manner as it does you. So you have to be prepared for push back and confused expressions. You want them to go where? You want them to do what? More importantly you want them to have a measure of enthusiasm while doing and going. High expectations indeed. So take time to be clear means communicating over and over, and answering all the questions, without getting defensive. Are you ready for this?

Long tenure

# Chapter 284

You can’t help other people if you don’t help yourself. - Masterminds

This is so true in the health, development, and learning areas. As Greg McKewon writes, you have to protect the asset and you are the asset. Its just like when you are on the airplane and they are doing the safety demonstration before takeoff, and they always tell you to put on your oxygen mask before you put your kids mask on. In other words this a standard principle pretty much across the board. No martyrs needed or wanted. Take care of yourself! Develop yourself!

So here is the non-intuitive part, the best way to help other people is to help yourself first. This is why it is non-intuitive, those who want to help other people, generally don’t think about themselves. They are like my wife, who thinks of herself last, not first. That is her personality and her posture on life in general. I have had to encourage her self-care very subtly over the years, so that she is not a vegetable destroyed from investing so much in others and so little in herself. “But this axiom sounds so selfish” my wife would say, yet it is not. If you want to be a lavish spring that bless other people for decades, then you gotta invest some serious mojo in yourself so that you have a reservoir in order to do so.

As we used to say in my little niche of the non-profit world, “you can become a medical doctor more quickly than you can reach in the field in our profession.” The preparation was intense. Unfortunately many didn’t continue investing in themselves and they just gave and gave until they had no more and then they quit. Now they aren’t helping anyone. Decide - you want to help and keep helping? Then take care of yourself.

What I say in my head

# Chapter 283

What I say is what I believe – what I believe is how I act. - Masterminds

That is possible I imagine. But I am sure that what you think is what you are believing and that will lead into your actions, but what you say? Perhaps I know more liars than you do? Perhaps I lie more than you do? Not only that, a lot of what we say is just unfactual and inaccurate, in other words wrong. Sure there are times and moments when we are transparent and truthful and what we say is a window into what we really believe and what we will take actions on, but I don’t think that is the de facto condition most experience. In my short 60 years on the planet I think most people say what is expected of them, not what they actually think and believe. As I work with clients around the world, it is difficult to get them to come to a place where we can have really full and honest conversations about what they believe, and the actions they are taking. So I don’t get this particular Masterminds at all. Don’t agree with it at all . . . unless.

Unless we are talking about self-talk, inside your head, the conversations that you privately have with yourself. If that is the case, then I could largely sign off on this premise. Those conversations inside our heads can be really brutal and forthright. Not many hidden things there. However that doesn’t mean they are accurate. Alignment of what I think inside my mind, and my outward actions, with actual reality is one of the main aims I have for myself and my clients. Wrong self-talk is very damaging. It leads us to all kinds of wrong beliefs and wrong actions.

You have the control

# Chapter 282

You control your time, mind, and energy. - Masterminds

Well, you CAN control your time, mind and energy. Lots don’t even though they could. On the other hand, what we really mean by these statements are that while everyone controls their time, mind and energy, most don’t manage them wisely or productively or actively. Lending these treasures you have to some productive purpose is completely different than vegging on YouTube vids at work. In order to do this, it requires initiative and effort as do all things. These are not the elements of your life that you want to be passive about, the price will be too high. You will lose far more than it appears in the moment.

Controlling which focus you give each of your 168 hours this week will determine where your attention goes, and where your attention goes, your accomplishments will follow. Those who accomplish pay attention to their attention! Controlling which material you feed your mind, will determine the trajectory of your future. People asked me “how did you complete a doctorate degree while working a full-time job and raising three teenagers?” Well I certainly didn’t watch any TV or doomscrolling the internet. I focused super carefully on what I fed my mind.

Energy management becomes every more important as I get older. This one changes as you age. But I had to take additional steps too, like cutting back alcohol consumption to nearly zero - it was killing me on both the mind and energy side. You do have control. Exercise it!

Hard pressed to be logical

# Chapter 281

Elements of a successful life: prepare emotionally – focus mentally/intellectually – execute physically (health/exercise) – eat rationally – schedule logically. - Masterminds

Part five schedule logically. This is so challenging for some because they can’t say no to themselves, and this is so challenging for others because they can’t say no to others. There is no logic to this, thus the admonition to schedule logically, because if you do, them you won’t overclock your life and you can be sane. There seems to be few who do this well. We have such a culture that “more” is always considered better, and so it appears that few of us have a sane logical schedule. There are only 168 hours in a week, so I don’t know what we are thinking, oh . . . er, that is the point, you and I are not thinking and that is how we got into this mess.

We have to change the way we view our schedule and we have to reassess our priorities. If our priority is have more thinking time and more leisure time, then those need to go on your schedule FIRST! Before you are allowed to schedule any work or meetings or demands, schedule the critical parts of your life - thinking and leisure. All else must bow down to this commitment. Until it doesn’t. If it was that straightforward, then the majority would be able to accomplish it, and we don’t on a regular basis. My schedule is more tame and logical more of the time now than ever before in my life, but I still have peak crunch times and slow days, work happens in bunches and I am hard pressed to be logical.

Be lean and fast

# Chapter 280

Elements of a successful life: prepare emotionally – focus mentally/intellectually – execute physically (health/exercise) – eat rationally – schedule logically. - Masterminds

Part four eat rationally. In Thailand 10 years ago my brother was commenting to me while he was helping me load up a taxi with my luggage, that I was carrying an extra suitcase each and every day. And he was totally right. My extra 50 pounds was weighing me down every single moment of every single day and that suitcase also weighed the allowed 50 pounds. Wow! It was such a revelation. It penetrated my mind in a way that I had never experienced before. That was 10 years ago. I have been weight appropriate ever since. Losing 50 pounds when you are 50 years old was just no fun. Keeping it off for 10 years has required many mental adjustments along the way. Eat rationally is such a simple statement, such a difficult action to take each and every day. All you have to do is look around as you stroll through any public venue to see that truth.

“Eat to live” is a great way to train yourself to view food and eating. Few can do it though. “Live to eat” seems to be the Western pattern and results overflowing from that thinking affect us all. Regular folks don’t seem to be concerned about nutrition at all, just taste and volume. This is not eating rationally, this is eating gluttonously. While eating is a physical action, most of this battle takes place mentally. IF you don’t properly fuel your body and mind, then you aren’t going to be functioning at your peak performance. Your choice, feel sluggish and full, or lean and fast.

Get moving!

# Chapter 279

Elements of a successful life: prepare emotionally – focus mentally/intellectually – execute physically (health/exercise) – eat rationally – schedule logically. - Masterminds

Part three, execute physically. Last night I was with a client who struggles to move. His job is standing on his feet all day and not moving very much. Factor number three is that he is married to a gourmet cook. Results? You guessed it, he is a heavy man. And he is close to my age and maintaining your weight gets harder as you age, as does everything it seem. On the other hand, a woman I graduated from high school with, is running a 100 miles ultra marathon yesterday and today!! What a way to celebrate your 60th year! I replay these contrasts to show what is typical versus what is possible and this just from my small network of people.

You experience your entire life in this one body that you have. It is the only one you have or will get in this life. For some that will mean partying as much as you can manage, and for others it will mean pushing it to the limits of stress and endurance. But you get to choose how much you weigh, how much exercise you do, how healthy you are - you make those precise choices everyday and your results are looking you in the mirror. Don’t like the results? Change the daily actions. Get moving no matter what you do! The worst thing you can do to your body is not use it. This is a critical part of a successful life, it will make every other part more enjoyable!

The focus of your attention

# Chapter 278

Elements of a successful life: prepare emotionally – focus mentally/intellectually – execute physically (health/exercise) – eat rationally – schedule logically. - Masterminds

Focus people, focus! Part two is focus. In the West this particularly difficult, although Advertisers everywhere in the world aim to capture their audience, but every single element of Western society is designed to capture and hold your attention. You cannot focus when something else has your attention. Thus the battleground is laid. If you are a modern day Western individual, this is the battle for your life/attention. If you desire to accomplish anything important this is a battle you must win. It is a battle you are likely fighting right now, I know I am fighting it because my dad has the TV on, and he is constantly commenting on whatever noise he is listening to that, and wanting me to respond. Of course I am sitting here trying to analyze focus, and understand all its enemies.

Not only is it important is protect your focus and attention, but the content of your focus and attention is critical. If you are focusing on how to cheat on your taxes this year, that is bad. If you are focusing on getting younger, that is impossible. If you are focusing on how you can change the world, that is is a worthy goal. If you are focusing on excellence in your work and what you produce, this is gold. If you are focusing on loving your family, that is gold. If you are focusing on Facebook or the news, that is slag, and you are in prison, at least your attention is in prison.