His little red corvette

Chapter 284

Today is the four year anniversary of my brother’s death. Time only moves in one direction and that is forward. There is no going backwards to what was in the past. So thankful for the 51 years that we had him in our lives. So sad for the fact that he is gone. Even though he still surrounds me/us everyday. 

I am still riding his motorcycle every week. When he passed away, my dad had the wild hair of purchasing his motorcycle from his estate, as a memory token. So it sat mostly, in the garage here gathering dust, while we remembered. Then my dad sorta woke up and realized that the bike was rotting, sitting there, never being ridden, and so suddenly my brother’s bike became my responsibility. I already had a bike! His bike was too short for me! Its not my kind of bike! But it is growing on me, I like it better now than before. Its still too small, but otherwise, a great little motorcycle. But I don’t like the emotional weight that comes with it.

I still see the place where we spread his ashes, almost every day. Its a constant reminder of his absence. That geographical marker isn’t going anywhere. I could change the way I travel each day I imagine, but that would not spare me the sight of his resting place either, because his instructions were to place his ashes on the highest point in the county. We did, and now he can watch us all the time, no matter where we are in the county. We can see him too.

Mostly we are just sad that he isn’t here with us, to laugh and enjoy life together.