The mountain is not what you think

# Chapter 96

You are climbing up toward your goals and objectives and it seems like an impossible climb. You are reaching for the near impossible and it appears that you might not get there. You are striving to change the world and the world doesn’t bend or change easily - too many integrated systems at play. It feels like you are not gaining any traction and you are discouraged. We all have had one or all of these situations in our lives and we know what these mountain ranges in life look and feel like. If you don’t then you aren’t really living you are just existing. And the main point here is not what you might think.

The mountain is not the mountain. That is just a static objective or direction or goal or something that has not yet been invented or made - these things are not the mountain that you are climbing. You are the mountain that you are climbing. In almost every instance, you are the limiting factor. Yes you are also the driver, the engine that pushes toward the peak, that which keeps things moving forward toward the conclusion you hope for. And that makes you the limiting factor, not every single time, but most of the time, enough of the time that you don’t need to think or worry about the times that this may not be true. The battle, the struggle, the striving is with conquering yourself. How to find, develop, uncork all your capacity and hidden reserves? Now you are getting warm, this is where the real challenge exists.

The moving goalposts

# Chapter 95

When it becomes clear that we can’t reach our goals, the modern response to that situation is to move the goalposts! This is not a solution, this is a mistake. It gives away all our growth opportunities and stretch possibilities and makes us weaker. Those are three direct wounds impacting the people we want to be, or are becoming. This is not the direction nor the result of what you seeking. You set those goals and the finish line where you did originally with intentionality. That is where you wanted to be when done. It was chosen with a purpose and you are cheating yourself if you move that goalpost, that finish line, because of whatever reason.

Instead you are being challenged to move your actions to a higher level. The call is for you to raise the bar of expectation on yourself and reach those original goals, not move the goalposts to an easier place. Change your actions, not the finish line. Change your attitude and focus, not what could be settled for. Change you, not the goal. This is why we set goals in the first place, not so that we will know where we are going, but that we would be challenged to reach for more than we have done before and that we would become more in the process. If we move the goalposts, then all of that is lost. Refuse to move the goalposts, and then dig in deep. Reach for it, work for it, relentlessly pursue it. And then get it!

Filling our calendars

# Chapter 94

There is a human tendency to stack and rack so much into every day that it can’t possibly be done, and we do this on purpose over and over again. Even on a day off like yesterday, I went from one task to the next event without pause. Like clockwork I filled the day from beginning to end. On a weekend day!! Now why would I do that, even if almost all of the things I filled it with would be considered leisurely or non-critical things?

Well there are multiple answers to that question, the number one around here is that if I don’t fill the schedule someone else will. In this instant it is simply a matter of having control of my day. The second answer to that question is that I filled the day with those “leisurely” activities because that is when others can do those things with me, because it is their weekend day too. At least two of the things on the schedule yesterday generally can only be scheduled on a Saturday or Sunday. The third possible answer is that there is just so much I want to engage in and this is the first day all week that I did not have pressing work work to be doing. And the fourth answer is that I can’t stand to let a moment of life go silent and still and non-structured. This last one is unhealthy and unacceptable. The rest makes sense, stop obsessing over it. It was a grand day, extra full, but wonderful.

The knock-down limit

# Chapter 93

As we said yesterday, you are going to face challenges, difficulties, setbacks, hardships, disappointments, tears, changes and more, if you aspire to do something important and to change the world. You will get knocked down and turned around and twisted. You will face opposition and problems of the gigantic sort. Every single entrepreneur and change agent in the history of mankind has faced these same types of obstacles and processes. What separates the unsuccessful from the successful, what differentiates between the ones we read about in history books and those we have never heard of is one thing only - the resilience to get back up when knocked down. That tenacity is the key piece that keeps putting you back in the contest over and over.

Of course everyone has a knock-down limit and perhaps yours is small. Don’t feel bad, most people have a very small knock-down limit. They can’t recover often or from deep wounds. The ones who can - they are often the history-making, change-the-world, distruptors-to-the-status-quo types that we read about and that we want to be like. But ok, many aren’t and that is just the way that it is, but if you want to join the few, the proud, the world-changers, then you are gonna want to work on your resilience factors.

We go to see movies with stories about indefatigable heroes who just keep getting back into the fray no matter how many times they get crushed. They find a path back into contention and power. They want to matter more than they want to lie down and die from their injuries. Yes yes, how much something hurts in a movie and how much something hurts in real life is drastically different, and at the same time the difference you make in the world is drastically higher than what any movie can ever make.

Something momentous and important

# Chapter 92

If you aspire to create or achieve anything of substance or importance (we are not talking about a media room in your basement) then there will be obstacles and challenges. If there were no obstacles and challenges then someone else would have created or achieved your objective long ago. They however, decided that the dream or idea was not worth the pain and cost and difficulty. You on the other hand have decided to move forward and give it your best. Then know on the front end that this important difficult thing will have plenty of potholes, surprises, bumps, detours, costs, learning curves, disappointments, crashes, demands and labors and struggles. And more.

Your primary strategy is to overcome every obstacle and reach your objective. Your tactics will include going around, under, through and over each one of these hurtles. You will grow and cry and change and learn and break and stand tall in this process. These deep dreams that we reach for, shape us in so many ways. These are unavoidable developments along the path of life when we aspire to impose big changes on the world, because these things are usually in deep intractable patterns and processes that are highly resistant to outside pressures and influences - in other words, they push back. Thats ok, this will be one of the key signs that you are aspiring to change something momentous and important. Spending a ton of money on putting together your media room for yourself in your basement, doesn’t matter at all and neither does it push back.

Sensationalism

# Chapter 91

As I said yesterday we want to be purveyors of hope not cell repeater towers for all the abysmal things that happen on the planet. Does this mean that we stick our heads in the sand and ignore what is happening in the world? Of course not, being ignorant is not going to help anyone. But there is difference between being isolated versus being selective and wise. Having hope and sharing it enthusiastically doesn’t not mean we have to ignore all the bad things that happen, but neither does that mean we have to drink all the bad things in at the fountain of sensationalism known as the “News”. On TV its known as the “News” and online its known by the moniker of “click-bait” where you sensationalize the title of the article as much as possible in order to get as many people as possible to choose whatever you have written.

Instead of simply telling the truth or the known data/facts about whatever subject you have deem newsworthy, you pander to our baser nature and try to make everything an emergency or outrage. Instead of informing us, you shape the story to make your point. Hope doesn’t do these things. Hope inspires more generosity and more giving and more possibility. Hope brings more to the table. What you do with it from there is up to you. So do something great and something that will build hope in others so that they can hope too. Lets build a worldwide hurricane of hope and possibility!

Mental cow manure

# Chapter 90

Real success for most of us is maintaining our positive outlook throughout the ups and down of life. This is hard especially at the down moments and some people just can’t handle the vertigo of the up and the downing. Few of us are unfailing enthusiastic about everything regardless of what happens and we suspect that those who are, may have a few screws loose because that doesn’t seem reasonable to us that aren’t wired that way. But I am telling you that you and I need to find a way to remain buoyant through thick and thin. Not just insufferably resilient, which is my standard mode of operation, but buoyant and upbeat.

The primary reason we need to be this way is that others feed off our attitude and ambience. These matters are contagious! What you do, others will catch, and when they do, still others will catch it and hopefully we can set the whole planet on fire with optimism and good anticipation for all that is coming their way. The thing I like least about the seniors in my life is the way they ascribe the worst motives to every person, and giddily share every bad event that has happen across the planet. Stop it for Pete’s sake! You are wrecking the rest of us who are trying to not step in that mental cow manure all the time. If you want to do that to yourself, then fine and good, but don’t share it with me or us. I want to be a dealer in hope, not a purveyor of all the abysmal things that can happen in the world.

Eyes wide open

# Chapter 89

Gaging the circumstances surrounding your business and life are more difficult than one would think at first blush. You get into habits and patterns that are hard to break and that complexifies things further. You forget what season of life you are in and reasons that you did this or that in the Summer don’t make any sense to do in the Winter. But it is a habit or system or pattern that is well formed in your practice, and you still do it although it is now cold and dark rather than sunny and warm. Gaging these matters when the circumstances change is one of the rare business practices that don’t get used often or well.

Designing a cycle of decision-making that is short in it’s review and implementation cycle is one way to address these kinds of decisions and systems. In other words, review often the why of a decision or pattern or system and combine that with a solution-minded focus that will provide alternatives and choices when possible. This will give you reasonable action steps as life unfolds, and it seems to be doing that faster and faster and so our review cycle has to get shorter and shorter.

Don’t be left out in the cold because of a summer decision. Make a good winter decision and enjoy the results from living with your eyes wide open.

# Chapter 88

Practicing trumps teaching. Don’t get me wrong I am a big fan of teaching and have done it at the college level off and on over the last 25 years. Teaching can bring much to the table especially if it is really focused on the learning taking place in the classroom and not just a rote recitation of some obscure facts or information that is not really learning at all. That is what almost all tests measure, some rote recitation of facts or information. What tests like we have in schools should reflect is learning, processing, working through the problems, and I am not just talking about in math. But instead, they puke back the information and stats, that they have been fed.

But actions and watching people model what they have learned, are generally far better teaching instruments in life. My grandson wants to wear my boots, both metaphorically and physically. He is regularly stepping into my shoes, every chance he gets. It is the perfect reflection of what he really wants - to be like me. So I let him “help” me whenever possible. He learns far more at that moment, than he does in the classroom each day. And one should take focused care on what you model and what you practice, because your little ones are watching. Now we need more who are paying attention to what they are modeling for the rest of their clan and the world, to see who is practicing that which is worth learning and repeating.

Belief

# Chapter 87

Getting something amazing done requires first and foremost a belief that we can do it. If you don’t believe it then you won’t get it done. If you don’t believe you can then you won’t. And if you don’t believe in yourself then nobody else will believe in you either. When I was a kid I believed that those who were winners were those who were better stronger and more capable. But I came to realize that they simply believed in themselves and then they went out and did it. Unfortunately I came to understand this far far later in life, not when I was a kid. Belief is powerful and you need to stock up on it in life.

You need all of this that you can find and then some. Belief is the fertilizer of all the things you want to grow in your life. Belief is the gas that carries your vehicle much further than you can walk. Belief is the jet fuel that flies you across the ocean. Belief can make the impossible possible and the unlikely your everyday experience. Belief makes allies out of the most important people who will help you along the way and believe for you when you run out of belief.

In the end, those who do are those who believe they can and should. Those who don’t believe in themselves should get out of the lineup and become the water boy. Its just like the doorbell. We have been living here a year and the doorbell didn’t work. I kept trying to recruit people to help me fix it because I didn’t believe that I could do it myself. A year of living here and constantly fixing stuff gave me the power to believe in myself and after a really embarrassing event this weekend when a board member arrived at my house, in the pouring rain, and was punching the damn nonfunctioning doorbell while getting soaked, did I get off my duffer and change the godsblasted piece of crap! Now I have a functioning doorbell. It wasn’t even difficult once I believed I could.

The stories we don’t tell

# Chapter 86

The untold stories within us. Everyone has them. If you don’t believe me then you haven’t sat and listened to anyone talk in a long time. People have so many many stories that they haven’t yet shared with anyone. And yes there are those people who share every thought that comes into their brain with no filters, over and over it seems, and those aren’t the people that I am talking about. I am talking about people like you and me, who have many stories inside that they aren’t sharing with anyone.

Perhaps the story seems too frivolous or childish and we don’t want to appear foolish. Perhaps the story is frightening or painful and we don’t want others to think us weak or afraid. But honestly I think about 90% of the time, there is just no one right person to share it with, or no one at all to listen to our stories. There is no one nearby who is ready and available to listen.

We had guests stay overnight last night and then they stay on until 1300 hours this afternoon. They had so many stories to tell and clearly no one to listen to them for a long while. They were erupting with multiple stories at every level. The time passed quickly because they were good story tellers and we were practicing our listening skills. That is a good combo if you can arrange it. But more than an evening and a morning is necessary if you want to get to the deeper stories and hear what is really going on inside their heads. And in the end you may find others have stories very much like your own!

Leading leaders

# Chapter 85

Leading a team of leaders is one of the best rushes ever! Every person sitting at that table is a fine leader in their own right and they have committed themselves to helping your shared project go further faster better. You had better be at your best and on your toes. They have little patience and less tolerance for mental miscues and frivolous thinking, than any other group you work with. But if you set the context correctly and feed the fire just right, the magic is awesome and inspiring. I just feel privileged that I get to spend time with people like this! They raise my expectations of what can and will be accomplished over and over, and that is very different than what you experience in any other platform!

So the pleasure of hanging out with people like this is so luxurious and stressful that it is difficult to describe. Yes I said luxurious and stressful. It is luxurious in the sense that they are top talent and you get to push and shove mentally with them on a variety of topics. And it is stressful and exhausting because you get to push and shove mentally with them, they brook no foolishness so you need to be and stay sharp, think and think hard, focus and don’t blink, it is rather a high pressure experience that is addicting. I honestly wish we did it more often! You should try it and buckle up for a fast hot ride.

Reconfiguring our minds

# Chapter 84

We need to get rid of our problem mentality. I know people that are so committed to a problem mindset that they quote scripture to support their position. If only I were joking! They are embracing problems in a fashion that I cannot get my mind around. Its like they feel especially spiritual and virtuous when they have problems. I don’t share their feelings. I feel overwhelmed when I have so many problems. I become paralyzed as I face these mountains, these difficulties that stand before me. What this calls for in my world is a reconfiguration.

This is just a mental and linguistic construct but it helps me tremendously. So every “have to” becomes a “get to” and this changes everything. Instead of “I have to have the board meeting tonight at our house” becomes “ this is so great we get to have a board meeting” (and today this is a literal example as the board meeting begins in about 12 hours). And every “problem” becomes an “opportunity” which changes my mental position from one of dread to one of excitement and energy. I am convinced that the naysayers to this approach haven’t tried it. If you have and still don’t think it helpful write me and tell me why please. I want to learn more than I want to be right about something.

To me, leaving the problems out there bare and naked to distract us, depress us, and discourage us is silly. Lets change how we are looking at these thorns and make something useful out of them.

Painting your future

# Chapter 83

You are working. All your decisions and actions are leading you somewhere. You are making your today and all your tomorrows as you work, live and decide. You are 3D printing your future with how and what you work, live and decide today. And this includes all your actions, how much you sleep, what you eat, how much you move, how you love, who you invest in, the five people you spend the most time with, your financials, your savings, your choice of retirement tools, what you drive if you drive, whether you rent or own, how you raise your children, etc etc etc. You are writing the story of your life, you are painting your future,

So what are you writing and painting? Take a moment and think about it, assess it, judge it. Are you moving in the direction and conclusion that you want? Does it include all the pieces necessary for health? This is a crucial question. If you don’t protect the asset - you - then you are destroying the asset and you have got to own this, no one else can or will. Break the power of everything that leads you toward destruction and unhealthy living. Its ok if you destroy it in small incremental bites, but be ruthless. Ruthlessness is the only way to protect the power of positives in your life, those things which are helping you be healthy and protect the asset. You are working toward something. Make it awesome.

Warning: The Gray Zone

# Chapter 82

“Most people exist between the on and off switch. They are unable to turn on and put out high power, and they are unable to turn off completely and enjoy true rest.” - Tim Ferris

In other words they stay in the gray zone. The don’t regularly experience the wonders of true rest, nor the intense satisfaction of putting out high power and getting the job done well. I think most folks stay in the gray zone, just existing and rarely reaching their potential. Let’s face it, I am in the people-assessment business, and it is not a pleasing sight most days.

But I get it, the gray zone is the path of least resistance. It is what the majority do, fall into, end up with, whatever. Its what the neighbors do and their neighbors do. It looks normal in most neighborhoods. Normal being another word for average. And if you don’t have ambitions to be more, then perhaps normal is ok for you. But if you want to find your capacity limits, if you want to change the outcomes and the output, if you want to experience the best, then you have to reject the normal average.

You have to not stay locked to your TV, radio, screens, TV dinners, three big meals a day, 6 packs, whiskeys, pills, (notice that these are all inputs) and instead lock your focus on your outputs, your systems, your habits, your goals your direction that you want to go. Replace the average normal world inputs, for high power outputs, and then turn it all off completely and disconnect and rest. This sounds like the life I want to continue living. What about you?

Not yet here

# Chapter 81

The best stuff hasn’t been made yet. The best book hasn’t been written yet, the best idea hasn’t been thought of yet, the best business isn’t up and running yet, the best version of you may not be here yet. The future of possibilities is wide open and waiting for you and your energy and your efforts and your contributions. The best is yet to come, but it won’t get here if you don’t get cooking! When you create you become more powerful and stronger and more resilient. The more you just wait around and consume products, goods, entertainment and relationships and affirmation, the more powerful others become. (These are Clear ideas). There is so much unexplored out there in the mentalverse and this is the most interesting stuff! Remember a few days ago we were talking about how near the impossible is, how it only needs to visualized and then it can be made, and the same is true of the mentalverse, it is sitting there waiting for you and me to make something amazing.

While what is possible in the world today is nothing short of astonishing compared to what had been conceived and made when I was a kid, this is nothing compared to what is still possible and will come. Create, make, do and be powerful and change the world. Don’t wait for others to do it! They may never get started, and you need to right now. Whatever kind of day you find yourself in, it is still the right day to get started making the world a better a place for everyone. The best stuff hasn’t been done yet.

Imagine more

# Chapter 80

Think bigger. If you want to leave a lasting impression, to make real change, to expand your impact on the world, think bigger. Think bigger precedes do more and do amazing. You are thinking too small. Yeah I know it feels really big and way over your head and capacity, but think bigger. Imagine more! Visualize more, what could be and should be and what you would bring to the world if you had no barriers. You have to see it first. This is the first barrier and if you can’t see it then it will never be. Your imagination is not working hard enough! I was at a church service yesterday and I went with dear friends and I so wanted it to be more, but it wasn’t. They don’t have enough imagination of what they could be. They are settling for what is low hanging fruit.

We need more boldness in our thinking and visualizing and imaginations. We have to think it before we can do it. And yes, thinking is not the point here, changing the world is the point here but you can’t change the world until you get started and you can’t get started until you start thinking and so you get it, I have to begin at the beginning. So do you. So do we all. Beginnings are hard, starting is often the most difficult piece of all so that is why I am after you to start thinking! It is my most gnarly sweaty work that has to be done each day, and I know how much I delay resist and procrastinate this critical part of the process. Think! Imagine! Create!

The impossible near

# Chapter 79

The impossible is not far away. Its always just around the corner and waiting to be discovered or found or made possible. There are so many parts of our daily lives that were sci-fi only ideas when I was a kid. I don’t know if you know this or not, but I discovered the idea of mobile phones. Yep when I was a kid riding in my parents back seat of the their old humongous Buick, I was thinking about how totally cool it would be to have a phone to call my buddies Keith and Allen while riding down the road. And that was over 50 years ago! Of course I did not develop the tech that made it possible, but I was at least one of the people in the world who conceived of the idea of a mobile phone and when people can see it and visualize it will become possible in short order.

Wholesale changes have happened in the world since I was that kid 50 years ago. And you should listen to my dad and hear the changes that have happened in his 80 plus year lifetime! And these changes continue to happen and some would argue that they are happening at a more rapid pace than when I was a kid, but I don’t know. The enormity of change and the nearness of the impossible made possible is more my point than the pace of any of it. Buckle up, this is not going away nor should we want it to. Change is ubiquitous and normal and the impossible won’t be for long.

The ride

# Chapter 78

There are so many transitions in life (about 35 yesterday) and decisions (about 35,000 yesterday) in life, that you can feel like things will never settle down into a comfortable rhythm that you can embrace. Instead you feel like you are in eternal transition and decision chaos and pressure. There are so many people locked into such a circle of living, and there is often no way to stop the world and get off. Elder care drives my frustration in this area, with my two primary responsibilities refusing to live on the same place on the planet, instead they are 700 miles apart, so back and forth back and forth I go. Travel in and of itself creates a seemingly endless cycle of transitions and decisions.

Your primary driving factor may be different than mine and that is of course, perfectly fine. But we both need to find a more manageable way to live a life that will allow us to settle down and find a comfortable rhythm. So one of the methods that I am trying this year is to group and schedule. Group my activities in one location and schedule my activities in the other location. So I do all medical and sports and celebrations and rehab in one location, and all my development and oversight and reparenting in the other location. The verdict is still out on how this is going to work or not. It still feels like I have whiplash all the time.

Of course as my wife reminds me all the time, death will bring these transitions and decisions to an end. What she doesn’t say is that when that time comes, it will be the beginning of a different transitions and decisions time. Buckle in. This is the ride.

Expanding potential

# Chapter 77

We are important and what we do is important. Too many don’t believe it and so they fail to act in a manner that shows how important their actions are to the rest of the world. Oh don’t get me wrong, we all believe that what we do is important to us, we just don’t often understand how critically our actions impact the world. This is a crucial thing for us all to comprehend and internalize and live well.

In the small world view, your actions only affect you. That is a very incomplete understanding and posture for living one’s life. How ludicrous for you to hold on to that position. And I can disprove it in a moment. Think back to your childhood playground memories and find . . . that person. That nemesis that bothered you taunted you bullied you and caused you pain. The fact that you can bring this person to mind, that you have these memories, that you have been impacted and changed for better or worse by this person, proves my point. Your actions are at the very least a stone hitting a pond, and the ripples of that action spreading out and affecting everyone within the reach of those ripples.

In a large world view, you are certain that your actions make a very large impact and therefore you are careful and thoughtful about which actions you take. You live your life in such a way as to maximize all the positives and minimize all the negatives. This is the way to navigate and expand all your potential in life.